


A Sinking Ship

by TalNunes



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Closure, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, bliss, kinda slow burn?, maybe more fandoms - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 06:03:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20130541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalNunes/pseuds/TalNunes
Summary: Ada Winters was only 16 when her brother Miller died.  She was only 21 when she was on a cruise that turned out be her worse nightmare. She was 41 when she was taken by John and his men to be baptized, and then captured by the soldier with red hair and a scarred face. And despite all of this, she still lives on. But her luck is running thin, and there are still so many questions left unanswered. Yet, she will stop at nothing to find them.





	1. Part I: A Sinking Ship

If there was one thing I wished that I would never have to encounter, it would be water. Yes, I know, how stupid. But if you knew my story, then you'd get it. But there is no time. There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but I guess I can only start with the baptism.

It was a bit after John's YES broadcast when I was captured. I was a bit frightened when I got the broadcast and he said he was coming for me, but I was sure that he wasn't actually speaking to me. It was quite a surprise when my home was invaded that night. They knocked me out cold, and when I woke up, it was still night. Everything was blurry at first, but when my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I realized we were on the edge of a small pond, and standing in the middle of it was good ol' John Seed.

I felt my whole body seize up when the cultist pushed me inside the water. The water was only at my ankles, but I felt myself go rigid with fear and the color of my face drain. I heard the cultist behind me tell me to move, but I couldn't. I looked into the water to see his face staring up at me. My God, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. His face was pale when it used to be fair. His bright brown eyes stared up at me with sadness as his mouthed the words Why did you leave me. I didn't leave. I was there the whole time, powerless as the shot was made. I wish I could have done more.

I was snapped out of it as the cultist hit my back with the back of his rifle. I stumbled forward, and when I looked up, I saw beautiful blue eyes. John.

"Is there a problem here?" He asked calmly, looking into my petrified eyes.

"N-no, sir," I said stuttering when a ripple of water touched my legs.

"Are you sure? You seem to be shaking. Are you scared of me?" He asked mockingly with a mischievous smile. I avoided looking into the water and tried to make myself sound clear when I answered.

"No," I said confidently. It seemed to surprise him. I probably should have been scared of him, but I truly wasn't.

"Is it the baptism you are afraid of?" He asked, looking curiously at me.

"No. I am not scared of the baptism, I am not scared of the cultists, and I am not scared of you, John." I ranted calmly, looking right into John's eyes as I said it. I was only scared of what lied underneath us.

"Then tell me, what are you afraid of then?" John signaled the cultists to begin and before I had the chance to answer, I was pushed into the water. It seemed that everyone was struggling, and trust me, I would have if I wasn't being confronted by my nightmares. The boats corridor materialized around me. I strained my eyes in the water, searching frantically for Simon, but he was nowhere to be seen. My lungs were beginning to burn, begging for a breath of air, but I wouldn't leave him down here. And then I saw him, trapped underneath fallen debris I tried to swim to him, but they were pulling me out. I attempted to scream for him, but it only caught water. That wasn't actually what happened though.

When I was pulled out, I screamed his name. I cut myself off when I realized I wasn't in the boat. John was staring at me as was everyone else. I burned underneath there gaze and looked down at the water, but the horrors underneath were too much to bear. I looked back up as the cultists lead us away. I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes, but I refused to let them out. I let out a breath of relief as we exited the water. Whatever was waiting for me had to be better than what was slowly killing me in the water. Guilt. Horror. Sadness. Simon.

We were all led into two vans. I didn't have to be thrown in like the others. I climbed inside voluntarily, wanting to get as far away from the water as possible. When I took a seat on the cold metal and looked back out, I found John staring at me. I met his gaze, but he didn't look away. So neither did I. He was trying to search me, I realized. What was my sin? I didn't know, and it seemed like it was stumping him as well. The door slammed shut, breaking our connection.

The drive was bumpy. I assumed we were heading for Johns bunker. I didn't know why I wasn't afraid. John has had a reputation for being ruthless, but when I looked into his eyes, I found that he was human too. He had his problems, and so did everyone else. His may have just been a little more extreme. It didn't justify what he has done, but it brought understanding. Something I didn't have.

When we reached our destination, I was the first one out. I hopped off, avoiding the brutality the others would get when the struggled. We were lead quickly into the bunker, which was rather large and bulky. Inside was like a maze of corridors that vaguely reminded me of the boat I was on. Along the wall was a phrase that all in Hope County had become familiarized with: Prepare for the collapse. I didn't know if I believed in it, but it didn't really matter, did it?

Once we reached the prison cells, I was already fatigued. They threw me into one and locked it behind me before moving on with other prisoners. The cell was small, with only a toilet in one corner and a cot in the other. I found myself on the firm cot without acting consciously and fell asleep immediately.

I woke up in my room on the boat. It was brightly lit with a small, single person bed with silk sheets and a comfy mattress. I yawned as I swung my feet off the edge and touched the cold hardwood with my toes. It was a nice room that I had paid quite a bit for. The boat rocked in the calm waves, which made some people nauseous but calmed me. It was like listening to the pitter patter of raindrops on a window.

The phone rang and my attention was snapped back to reality. I checked my watch and found that it was three in the morning. Who would be calling at this time? I stood up and stumbled to the phone on the desk, still have asleep.

"Hello?" I asked sleepily.

"Ada? Ada, this is Simon." His voice was filled with worry, and I felt the drowsiness fall off of me like a blanket.

"Simon? Are you okay?"

"I think there is something wrong. I saw something, something bad. Oh my god, Ada, I don't know what to do!" I only then realized that he was whispering. He sounded so scared.

"Okay calm down, Simon. Tell me what happened."

"Okay, okay. I-I saw someone one of the crew members get knocked out by a few men. They had guns Ada!" My heart dropped. Guns?

"You need to call the crew."

"I already tried. They didn't pick up. Ada I think-"

"What are you saying Simon?" I asked nervously.

"I don't think the crew is in control of the ship anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This story was originally created on Wattpad by myself. Both versions have not been finished. Thank you so much for reading and have a good day!


	2. Confession and Rolling Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada confesses to John, meanwhile Past Ada searches for Simon.

I woke up from the dream to the sound of someone banging on the metal poles of my cell. I sat straight up, and felt a cool draft touch my sweat covered skin.

"Wake up Princess, Johns ready for you." The cultist said. I sighed as I stood from the cot and walked to the cell door. I felt anxiety prick at me like a snake. Ready to pounce.

"Okay." I said as the cultist handcuffed me and dragged me down the hallway. I wasn't thinking about the hell I was about to meet. The dream I had wasn't really a dream. It was a memory. I wanted to cry hearing Simon's voice once again, played perfectly in my mind like a tape. Every detail was right, down to the position of the phone and the cold floor. The rocking boat. I hoped that I wouldn't have to go through it again. I felt my anger boil up inside as it usually does when I think about it. I should have done more. I should have tried something.

I was ripped away from my self-hatred when the cultist handcuffed me to the chair in the confession room. It was large and was lit dimly with red lights. It was pretty creepy, to be honest. It didn't help my ever growing anxiety when John walked in with a tattoo gun.

"My parents were the first ones to teach me about the 'power of yes'. One night, they took me into the kitchen and they threw me on the ground. And I experienced pain after pain after pain after pain. And when I didn't think I could take anymore, I did. Something broke free inside. I wasn't scared. I was...clear. I looked up at them and started to laugh. All I could say was yes." He mumbled as he prepared the tattoo gun. I looked at him sympathetically, and when he saw me, he seemed confused. No one has probably ever looked at him like that.

"And now I ask you to say yes. To confront your sins. For only then can you atone." I looked at him as he said this. And then I knew. That what was holding me back was the burden I couldn't share. I needed to, or I would collapse under the weight of it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes." He looked utterly shocked that I had said yes. I wasn't one of the ones that wanted to join the project.

"Very well. May I ask why you said 'yes'?" He asked curiously.

"I don't think it has as much do with my 'sins' then my guilt and trauma." I said, looking at him in the eyes. I had just realized he would be the only person in the world to know what happened other than me. I was, of course, the sole survivor.

"Okay...What is your name?"

"Ada. Ada Winters."

"Okay Ada... I-" He looked confused before I cut him off. It was obvious why.

"You don't know my sin, do you?" I asked quietly. He looked at me as if insulted, but nodded.

"I'm not surprised." In that moment, I realized something. That I knew my "sin". I smiled.

"Why is that?" John asked angrily. I tried to put my hands up, forgetting that my hands were handcuffed to the chair.

"It is...what should I call it? An internal conflict." He gave me a quizzical look.

"My sin is wrath. Wrath directed to myself." I muttered, feeling a lone tear fall slide down my cheek.

"Why is your sin Wrath?" He continued. He seemed genuinely interested. I looked at him and began to tell what happened.

"It happened about five years ago. I decided that I needed a break from reality and bought at ticket to a cruise that was supposed to be a week long. A day in and all my problems drifted away. I felt free for one." I looked away from him, feeling my heart pound as I recounted the story. "On the second day I met someone named Simon. It was at a bar and we were both drinking a little too much. We laughed a lot. For the next few days, all we did was talk."

"On the fifth night, he called me at three in the morning and told me he had witnessed one of the crew members get knocked out be a few guys. He said that one of them had a gun." I stopped, knowing that I wouldn't be able to explain what had happened after that. "A lot happened that night, but in the end, the boat sunk and I watched Simon die. I was powerless to do anything yet I beat myself up all the time because I believe it was my fault! And that self-hatred and fury is manifesting inside of me. Every night I thought that if anyone, I could have saved him. It drives me to do things I never would do."

There was silence after that. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. I think he understood me. And that understanding lifted some of the weight on my back.

"How did you escape?" He asked quietly.

"Well the terrorists cut down all of the emergency boats and got rid of the life rafts, so I looked for the one thing that could help us. A flare gun. And I did. But I was too late. The ship was already too far gun. But I managed to shoot a flare into the night sky. The water was freezing and I was just about gone when a rescue team came out."

Realization dawned on John's face.

"That's why you were afraid at the baptism. You're afraid of-"

"Water. Yes, I'm afraid of water." I finished for him. I think I saw him give me a sympathetic nod before continuing.

"Were you the only survivor?"

"As far as I know, yes." He stood up from the chair and approached the table to the right of us. He picked up the tattoo gun and I felt myself draw in a deep breath.

"You know what happens next. You need to atone." He said. He didn't seem like he wanted to do it. Maybe he didn't believe that I had actually sinned. But I did confess. So he must do his part. He approached me and started up the gun. I looked at him and met his eyes, deep blue. His sadness swam inside them.

"Your sin is Wrath, because you let it control and consume you." John said calmly as he brought the gun to my collar. I closed my eyes as he started to carve the word in my collar. The pain wasn't horrible, but I was beyond thankful when it stopped.

I looked up and met John's eyes, and smiled thankfully. He smiled before extracting a key from his pocket and freed me from the handcuffs. His fingers touched mine and I felt a shiver ran up my spine, but I didn't pull back.

"Thank you." I told him before pulling him into a hug. It felt better to have the weight of my own burden to be shared with another person. He was taken aback by the hug, but he slowly wrapped his arms around me.

I pulled away and he was about to say something when the whole world exploded.

I hung up, slamming the phone down like it was on fire. What is happening? I quickly threw off my pajamas and threw on jeans and a red sweatshirt, feeling my heart pound in my ears. I didn't want to believe something was wrong, but there was. Of course there was.

My hands were shaky as I pushed open the door and peeked outside. The corridor was long and narrow painted white with gold trims. Some painting were hung up here and there, but other than that, the hall was barren. Nobody was outside at this time. I slipped out and closed my door quietly behind me.

Simon's room was on the other side of the ship, and up a few floors. I felt fear grip me and squeeze the breath out of me. Maybe he had seen a prank or something. Maybe nobody heard the phone ring when he called. I just kept refusing to accept the truth of what was happening.

The ship lurched as it hit a wave and I fell forward. I hit the ground and the lights above me flickered, threatening to turn off. But they didn't. Thunder boomed outside as a storm formed above. I scrambled up onto my feet and continued down the hallway. I turned into the stairwell as we hit another big wave. I stumbled forward and caught myself on the railing. Shit.

I hurried up the stairs, thankful that not one stair creaked. When I reached his level, which was on the deck, I put my ear up to the door to listen for anything. It was deathly quiet up until I was about to open the door. Footsteps. I stepped away from the door fearful that they were heading for the stairwell.

"The engine room is on the last floor, aft side." I heard someone say. I felt my heart stop and I covered my mouth to stop myself from crying out. I sneaked up the stairs and crouched down low. The door squeaked open and I ducked lower, afraid that the top of my head was exposed. Their footsteps echoed up the well.

"Why are we going to the engine room?" A feminine voice this time. The man next to her chuckled as they descended deeper into the ship. There voices were distant, but I strained myself to her them.

"Boss is keeping captives there." The man said after a few seconds of silence.

"Captives?" She asked.

"The crew and the few people that witnessed us." He responded. I felt a breath get caught in my throat. What if one of them is Simon? He had witnessed them. But maybe they hadn't seen him. I had to know. As they further descended, I hurried back down the stairs and pushed the door open. I had to find a phone.

I found myself outside as a wave punched the side of the ship, sending water splashing onto me. I stumbled back and hit the wall as the water drenched me. I sputtered and spit water out of my mouth. I put my hands on my knees and took a few breaths before heading down the side of the ship. I grabbed the railing screwed into the wall as lightning cracked down onto the ocean, spider webbing across the dark sky. A deep boom soon followed. I reached the pool area as another wave crashed into the boat.

It was a large area, surrounded by chairs that were usually protected underneath the umbrellas. The umbrellas were all knocked over, and some just plain missing. On the other side of the pool was another residential area, and in a little outcrop was a few phones. Rain came down on me like bullets as I made my way across the pool area. I was freezing.

When I finally made, I felt like collapsing. It was unbelievable cold out. I reached out to the phone with numb fingers. I struggled to take hold of it, but I eventually brought it up to my ears. I slowly pressed the buttons and waited as it rang. Ring. Ring. Ring. But he didn't answer. I felt my heart stop as I tried again. Ring. Ring. Ring.

"No...Simon!" I punched the numbers in again, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks. "Please, please."

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Fuck. Please answer..." I cried out. Ring.

I slid down the wall, still holding the phone up to my ear.

Ring.

"Simon..."

"....Don't do this to me...." 

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading once again. Comments and suggestions are welcome.


	3. The Crash and Jacob Seed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada has a nice run in with none other than Jacob Seed. It doesn't go so well... I mean, I guess it does, depending on your definition of "well".

I woke up in the mud, my head throbbing and my ears ringing. I tried to move, but my whole body ached. Rain thundered down on me and the wind ripped through my thin clothes, chilling my skin. That is when I realized something was wrong. The rain was coming down hard, but I could hardly hear it. It was like I was hearing it echo down a long hallway. I brought up my hand and covered one ear and everything went silent. I could hear absolutely nothing. I went to my other ear but drew my hand back when I touched a warm liquid.

I lay there for a few minutes, watching as a flash of light illuminated the darkness. A distant boom assured me that I wasn't completely deaf.

I attempted to stand up, and let out a scream of pain. I fell back down and strained my eyes to see. When my eyesight finally adjusted, I almost vomited. My whole leg was scratched up and bleeding, with tears and holes in my jeans. I looked down at my shirt to see that it was the same way.

I looked around, afraid of what might be lurking in the darkness. A wolf howled somewhere, and my blood ran cold. I couldn't stay out here in the open. I looked around just as another flash of lightning gave me the light I needed to see. But it didn't show me what I wanted to see.

For the split second that everything was bright, I saw a white, overturned truck and bodies littered across the bloody ground. I groaned as my stomach emptied itself. The bodies seemed to have gone through a meat grinder. They were mauled and torn apart. I dragged myself away from the crash site until my back hit a tree. I dragged myself up the tree and leaned against it. I was beginning to feel dizzy. I let go of the tree and winced as the pain in my leg flared. But I didn't fall back down. I limped away from the crash site, following the tire tracks out of the woods and onto the street. That is where I collapsed. How could I get to a hospital if I had no idea where I was. I felt a low vibration in my thigh and I gasped. I stuck my hand into my pocket and found a phone. I looked at it, realizing that it wasn't mine. I pressed the power button and the screen lit up brightly. I squinted at the sudden brightness, trying to make out what was on the screen. There was a text message. I couldn't read all of it, so I swiped the screen and was surprised when it unlocked. I tapped the messages button and pressed on the most recent one. It read:

Ada. I don't have much time to tell you this. They can't find out I'm helping you. You need to know that people are hunting, and you are the prey. You need to find a safe place before they find you. They will kill you. You are the sole survivor and they can't have any witnesses left. They will stop at nothing to get to you. Trust me, Ada, when I say that whatever happened on the ship is nothing compared to what they could do. If you are reading this, please listen to me. Find help. When you are finished reading this, destroy the phone.

I read the message a few times over before heeding his advice. I slammed the phone into the concrete several times over before laying my head down. This couldn't be happening. I thought it was over. I thought that I was leaving everything behind when I came here, to Hope County. How did they find me? This place is so remote that in some places, there is no signal.

I breathed heavily, feeling my anger bubble up like a boiling pot of stew. I screamed into the night, not caring if the wolves found me. It would be better than what those people could do to me.

My head whipped around when a blinding light came blazing towards me. I watched as the light grew smaller and smaller until I saw the white truck it was coming from. A man stepped calmly out of the truck, and I felt my heart stop. The texter was too late. I was already found. But the closer I looked, I found that I had seen the man before. He had deep red hair and bright blue eyes. His face was covered in scars and rashes. My face flushed with relief when I saw him, and he noticed. It confused him. Who would be relieved to see him? If only he knew.

"What happened to you?" He asked, kneeling beside me with a look of indifference. He wasn't concerned about my well-being, I knew that well enough. He even seemed to smile. I laid my head back down onto the rain covered road and sighed.

"I don't know. I woke up like this." I chuckled at myself. It sounded so cliche.

"Is that right." He asked, but it didn't really sound like a question. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and looked me in the eyes. I felt a pit form in my stomach as he dragged me down the road and threw me into his car. "Don't fucking lie to me."

My fear disappeared almost as fast as it came, replaced by anger.

"Why would I be lying? Does it look like I'm in a position to lie right now? I woke up in the woods, surrounded by bloodied bodies and an overturned truck. You can go to the crash site right now and you'll see the truth."

He looked at me and searched my face for any hint of deception. When he didn't find it, he slammed the car door and went into the woods. I was breathing hard and was on the edge of a total breakdown. First John, now Jacob? I mean, at least John wasn't that bad, but I don't think Jacob will be like him. I thought back to the moment I felt relieved and immediately regretted it. I shouldn't have been.

I looked at the door handle and realized that I had the chance to leave, but something held me back. If I left, he would have every right to believe I lied. If I stayed, then maybe he'd believe me. Either way, I would end up with him anyways. He had the means to find me again if I left.

He walked out of the woods and entered the car, starting it up.

"Why didn't you leave?" He asked, looking back at me. I looked at him. He had done it on purpose.

"If I had left, you would have every right to think I lied. We don't want that do we?"

"Smart." Is all he said as we drove away from the site. I sat in the backseat, feeling dizzy again. I needed medical attention.

"If you are telling the truth, what is the last thing you remember?" He asked.

"I was...um...I was at John's bunker. I confessed and atoned. And then a bomb went off I think." I explained, and the world began to spin.

"I heard of the attack. From some group I've never heard of." He said, but I hardly heard it. I was blinking rapidly as my vision began to fill with dark spots.

"I...I need...-" I began to say, but everything went black after that.

When I woke up, I was in a rather large cage. It was overwhelmingly bright outside. I felt my whole body ache, but the pain wasn't as bad. I sat against the metal poles of the cage and squinted my eyes, trying to ignore the burning in my head. When everything cleared up, I noticed a few cultists surrounding my cage. I looked at them.

"Good-mornin'." I muttered. They cleared away when they realized I was awake.

"You don't look so good." Someone said next to me. I slowly turned my head to find a young man sitting in the cage next to me. I smiled at him.

"Do I?" I asked looking down, seeing several places wrapped in bandages. "Wow, I guess so. I mean, you don't look great either."

He chuckled lightly but stopped. His face drained of color when he saw someone standing in front of us. I turned to see Jacob.

"Having a nice chat?" His eyes shined in the bright light and he flashed a grim smile.

"It would be nicer if we weren't in a cage," I said casually. I looked at his army jacket. It reminded me of my brother. I felt a pain that I hadn't felt in a long time. He was like a father to me. But then something caught my eye. It was a patch on his arm. I stood up faster than a bullet and ignored the black spots dancing around my vision. I grabbed the metal poles and took a closer look. It read: 82nd Airborne Division. My eyes widened and all remaining color in my face drained. "Holy shit."

I looked up and met Jacob's eyes. He seemed confused. "What?"

"You...you were in the 82nd Airborne Division?" I asked quietly, feeling like someone was squeezing the life out of me. I stumbled away from the bars.

"Yes." He said, now himself grabbing the poles. I looked at him. "Why?"

"My...my brother was in that division too."

"What is his name?" He asked, but seemed to already know the answer. He was looking me over and must have seen the resemblance.

"Miller."


	4. Death and Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past Ada sneaks through the ships halls in an atempt to find the hostages. Ada and Jacob talk...and it gets heated.

I sprint back inside, tears streaming down my face like a river. I kick the door open and collapse inside the hallway, feeling like my heart had frozen over. He was all I had. After Miller had died, I decided to go on a cruise. The cruise was my escape, and I found someone who genuinely cared for. Understood my pain. And now he was gone too.

I lifted my head, suddenly remembering what the man in the stairwell said. Captives. I the little sparks of hope remaining burst into a fire. He could still be alive. I stood up, feeling as if I was being timed. I didn't know how long Simon would still be alive, or rather they'd be alive. Who knows what the terrorists were planning to do with the ship. I ran down the corridor faster than I had ever run in my life.

I grabbed the handle of the stairwell door and swung it open, losing all tentativeness I had before. I took the steps two at a time, and the thuds pierced the eerie silence that occupied the ship. I reached the last level knowing that I didn't know where the engine room was. SUre, it was on the aft side, but it was a pretty big area. My mind was racing. What was happening? Is Simon okay? I couldn't let anything happen to him.

I stopped short when the lights above me clicked off, leaving behind a slight ringing in their wake. It was complete darkness, and if I hadn't known any better, I would have believed my eyes were closed. Or worse, I was blind. But then a flashlight turned on around the corner at the end of the hall. I watched as it got closer to rounding the corner.

I touched my hand to the wall and ran along it before my fingers touched a doorknob. I jerked the door open and slid in. I closed the door slowly, and let a breath go when I heard the silent click.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. The screen lit up, revealing a nice photo of me and Miller. He was smiling brightly with his freshly buzzed brown hair. We had the same shining eyes, his a pale blue, mine a light brown, and a small nose. I shook my head and unlocked the phone. I searched for the flashlight and felt relief course through me when the room filled with white. It looked like a boiler room, with several pipes running along the walls and ceiling. A few metal tables cluttered with manuals and papers gleamed in the light. On the other side of the room was another door. I hurried over to it but stopped short when the door clicked open behind me.

A scream was caught in my throat as I slid to the ground and crawled in between one of the boilers. I felt the heat of the boiler touch my skin like a hot breeze, pulling the sweat out of my pores.

The lone man walked across the room with his flashlight. His eyes scanned the room carefully, examining every bit of the area. I held my breath as his eyes came over my hiding spot. His eyes lingered for a moment, but a voice brought him to his senses and he continued to the door.

I let out a shaky breath when what I could only assume to be the door to the engine room closed. I couldn't believe my luck. I slid out of the small crevice with a sweat covered face and a weight on my chest. It all felt like a dream, but now I know that it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare.

I walked to the engine room door and hesitated opening it. I didn't know what would happen, and I was terrified. But this was all I could do to help him wasn't it? I looked around the room one more time. But there was nothing. I sighed before turning back to the door. I grasped the handle, turned, and pushed ajar.

I peeked through to see the complexity of the engine room. There were a lot of pipes, that's for sure. I looked through the machinery and pipes to see a small open area in the middle, with people tied up to the railings. I felt like screaming when I saw Simon's black and blue face. But alive!

I crouched down low and approached the railings, listening for any approaching people. I heard footsteps, but they were on the opposite side of the room.

"Where are they?" One of them asked. Not one of the captives, but the...what should I call them? I guess I'll just stick with terrorists because we haven't go to the part I learn who they are.

"Once again, I have no idea what you are talking about." That was Simon. My eyes widened when I realized that they were talking about me. And that means...

I heard a sickening crack as a man's fist connected with Simon's nose. He was getting beat for not selling me out.

"We heard you talking." The man said as Simon fell to the ground, whimpering. When he pulled out the gun, I couldn't stop myself from running out of cover. The gun raised a few inches, but just enough for it to level with his head. I screamed out Simon's name, and I swear I saw him smile at me before his head exploded.

I woke up curled up on the ground, screaming out Simon's name. I couldn't stop myself from screaming as the image played on repeat in my head. Over and over. My face was soaked with tears.

I heard footsteps, but I didn't bother to look up as my screaming began to face. Not because I was stopping it, but because my throat was dry.

"What the fuck?" Jacob asked angrily. I looked up quickly and the terror in my face must have been obvious because his expression softened. Just a little.

After I had told him about my brother Miller, he had run off. I guess he knew him. But something was off about him when he left. Of course, my brother did die, but there something other than sadness. Was it guilt?

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, pulling my knees up to my chest and rubbing the tears off my face.

"Nightmare?" He asked. He leaned against the bars, looking intently at me. I nodded. He seemed to understand. "What was it about?"

I looked at him, and he didn't look like he was expecting an answer. I didn't know what was up with me, always spilling out my demons for the seed brothers see. But something in them made me feel comfortable. Especially Jacob. Even if he threw me in a cage.

"It-it was about my friend Simon." I began. Jacob looked surprised that I was actually telling him, but looked genuinely interested. "I went on a cruise a few years ago. It had told everybody that I just wanted a break from reality, but that was only half true. It was really to get away after Miller's death. But it was...great. On the first day, I met a guy named Simon. Really nice, and always listened to what I had to say. Of course, I had everything to say because we were both a little drunk."

He chuckled deeply, and I couldn't help but laugh too. "Anyway, we talked...a lot. The next few days got Miller out of my head. But then I got a phone call from him. He was all nervous. He told me that he saw some people with...with guns knock out one of the crew members. I told him I'd go to him and so I did. But he was already gone. I went to find him but it was too late. I watched-" I blinked rapidly, trying not to cry again."-I watched him get shot in the head."

Jacob stood there, looking both sympathetic and indifferent. He looked down at his feet. "What happened to you?"

"They tried to kill me. And...and it's my fault that everything went wrong. I redirected there shot, and the bullet went straight through the crankshaft. And everything went downhill from there. Long story short, I was the only survivor. Barely."

"I'm...sorry." He said quietly. He looked sincere at least.

"Jesus, I've already told John about all this. Know I'm telling you? No offense, but I would never have thought that I'd be telling John or you about this." I said, kicking a small rock on the ground. My stomach growled, and I looked down at it

"So you weren't lying about that?" I laughed.

"Why would I lie?"

"I dunno." He mumbled, looking off at the mountains.

There was a moment of silence. Not the awkward silence, but a peaceful one.

"What happened to Miller?" I asked quietly. I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer. Jacob looked at me uncomfortably.

"He...he died. Him and I, we were friends. We were lost, miles away from anyone. We were wondering for days with no food and water and the wolves were closing in. His legs were acting weird and I knew he was going to die. And when I looked at him, I saw...I saw a way out." I stayed quiet, trying to understand what he had said. Miller's body was never found, that's what they told us. And then it dawned on me. I looked at him in horror. He was already dying. He was already dying. I tried to remain calm, but the anger was already bursting out of me.

"You...you ate him?" I asked, trying to hold my temper. I wasn't disgusted like he thought I would be. I hadn't really thought about it like that.

"He was already dying."

"And...oh my God." I looked away from him, remembering Jacob use that music box on the other prisoners. I hadn't recognized it before. "That music box is his."

I stood up and rammed the bars, causing Jacob to back away, cringing.

"That was our favorite song, Only you. I gave that to him before he left for deployment." I paced around the cage, not only feeling anger but sadness. All Jacob did was stand there, looking at me sadly.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I am trying not to be fucking mad. Believe me, after that nice moment we had, I felt comfortable and I fucking-" I stopped talking, suddenly realizing what I had just said. I looked at him, my face burning red. He seemed just as shocked at me. "I'm going to...I'm going to bed."

I looked away from him, feeling so many emotions that I felt like was going to explode. I layed down on the hard earth, and looked up at the sky, willing him to leave. But all I heard was him to sink to the ground and stay there. I didn't get one ounce of sleep that night. And neither did he.


	5. Silence and Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and Ada have a heart to heart. Ada soon realizes the Seed's aren't her only problems.

I stared up at the sky as the moon drifted across the sky like driftwood on a river, and as the sun began its ascent. The sky was painted with hues of gold and orange and streaks of bright pink. How could I be so stupid? Especially at a time like that?

I turned my head and saw Jacob sitting on the ground, his back against the bars. He was looking out at the mountains. Some cultists were wondering the compound, giving Jacob the occasional what are you doing look. I was thinking that myself.

"Why is this happening?" I asked quietly. I wasn't really asking Jacob, and I wasn't intending it to be as loud as it was. Jacob seemed startled when I spoke.

"Fuck, here I am, sleeping inside a cage. Talking to my captor like he is an old friend. All I wanted to do was get away from everything. All I wanted to do was leave him behind." I started to feel a strange emptiness inside of me, and I can't deny that it hurt. It hurt far worse than anything I had ever felt before, only comparable to Miller's death. And Simon's.

"I just wish that I could have said goodbye, you know? To both of them. To everyone that has died. I wish they got the chance to say goodbye. I've been struggling under the weight of my guilt. I thought sharing my the burden with John would help. It did, but only temporarily. Did I tell you Simon died protecting me? They knew about his call to me, but he wouldn't give me up. He died because of me. Miller was protecting everyone. Fuck. And what am I doing with their sacrifices? I'm wasting them. I left my family so I wouldn't have to deal with the emotional pain. I left everything behind so I wouldn't get hurt when Simon died so I wouldn't get hurt. I don't even deserve to be alive."

"Don't say that, Ada." He muttered. I ignored him.

"Maybe if I had tried harder. Maybe if I had done something different he would still be alive. If I had just been better-"

"It's not your fault! You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened to him. I know what it feels like to lose someone. I know how it is to feel that way, but it will consume you if you don't stop thinking like that." He turned toward me, looking slightly angry.

"I'm...I...I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know who I am anymore, Jacob." I mumbled. I felt something get caught in my throat as I dragged my fingers through the mud.

"You can find it again." I heard him stand up and the click of a lock made my head snap. The gate slowly opened, and Jacob stood there. He looked conflicted. I shot up and gave him a questioning look. Was he really letting me go? I took a step, but I stumbled over as my knee's collapsed underneath me. I fell forward and into Jacob's arms. His arms were strong and I felt my face burn red. He stood there for a moment, equally as embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as he helped me back to my feet. They were tingling like a million ants were running across them.

"Don't be." He whispered back. I looked up and saw a genuine smile on his face. I felt a warmth spread through me and I smiled back. We both realized what was happening and quickly wiped the look of our face. He led me away from the cage and helped me into his truck. The P.E.G.G.I.E.S around us seemed shocked as he started the car and drove away. I looked out the window and watched the mountains fly by.

"Where do you live?" He asked. I looked away from the window and told him my address. It was in Holland Valley, John's region. The rest of the drive was silent, but I preferred it that way. It gave me space to think. But my space was extremely confined. Specifically, it was confined to one area. Jacob. It terrified me thinking of how good I felt when he smiled at me. His eyes bright and face brighter. For that single moment, I had forgotten everything. Miller. The cruise. Simon. For once, I felt...peaceful. I guess it could only last so long.

We came to a stop outside my lovely home. But...it wasn't very lovely anymore. In fact, I'd say it was the complete the opposite. I pushed the car door open and stumbled outside. It was...ruined. Along the walls were written: He died because of you and We will kill you, along with some rather insulting words such as Bitch and some others I don't want to share. The windows were shattered and the front door was torn off of its hinges. I walked up to the entryway and stepped over the fallen door. The floor was covered in glass and broken china. The TV had cracks spider webbing across its shining surface. I ran my hand down the torn curtains and pulled them down angrily.

"Jesus," Jacob said from the doorway. I kicked some shards away from me.

"They're coming for me," I whispered. No, they weren't coming for me. They were already here.

"Who?"

"The people that killed Simon. The people that sunk a whole cruise. They are coming for me." I paced around, feeling fury rip through me, with a side of fear. A gigantic fucking side.

"Why?"

"Because I am the only witness," I explained. Why do they care so much? I've already told the authorities everything I know about the tragedy. Or maybe it was something else that they wanted...

"You...you can stay with me for a bit. Until you find another place." He offered. It was a tempting offer, especially because I wasn't staying here. I'd personally rate it 0 out of 10 on Yelp. The last residents didn't take to it too kindly. Sorry, getting off track.

Anyway. Jacob also made me feel...safe, whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, I didn't know. But I didn't want to put him in danger.

"I can't. I don't want to put you at risk." He looked at me as if insulted and I put my hands up. "I don't mean to say that you can't handle yourself. I'm sure you can. I just can't do that willingly. But I'll stay in Whitetail."

"Okay." He said, nodding. He headed out of the house, but I lingered for a moment. I slowly maneuvered around the overturned furniture until I reached the small fireplace. Its bricks were old and chipping, but it felt cozy. My gaze fell on a picture on the mantle. I grabbed it and stuck it into my pocket, feeling safe with it safe inside.


	6. The Lake and the Cabin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob brings Ada to a small cabin, meanwhile chaos ensues on the cruise.

Jacob brought me to one of his small cabins deep in the woods after I had packed my clothes. I had insisted on finding my own place, but he ignored me. It was nice though. It was near a lake as well.

"Thank you so much," I said as he stopped outside the cabin. It's shadow absorbed most of the land in front of it. A small fire pit lay in the yard with a few metal chairs surrounding it. I don't think Jacob ever expects thanks because he becomes flustered every time I say it.

"No problem." He muttered as I pushed the car door open and hit the dirt path with a thud. I dragged my backpack out of the back seat. A plume of dirt flew up with every step I took toward my new, temporary home. Jacob followed me out of the car, staying a good ten feet behind.

Inside the cabin was a large brick fireplace with a soft, plump leather couch. Along the wall was a small kitchen with a few dirty dishes in the sink. A bathroom and two bedrooms made up the rest of the house.

"You've come here much?" I asked curiously. The dirty dishes seemed to signify him being here recently.

"Yeah. I spend most of my free time here."

"Hunting?" I asked.

He nodded, leaning against the doorway. There he was, smiling again. I blushed deeply, and he seemed to notice. It only made him smile even more, but his mask was back on quicker than it had fallen off.

"Well...um...I'll see you later," I said, stuttering in embarrassment. He chuckled when he turned away.

"See ya." He walked away, leaving the front door open. I watched him as he got in the car, waved goodbye, and drove away. I put my hands on my head and sighed.

"Shit." I started to pace, feeling like an absolute fool. How could this be happening? Could I be-

No. I am not even going to go there. I slammed the door shut and fell onto the couch. I needed to get my mind off of things. I stood up and dug through my backpack until I found...Shit. I forgot my bathing suit. I dug out a pair of shorts instead and changed into them.

When I reached the lake, it was about mid-day. The sun was beaming down and it was a nice, moderate warmth. I sat down on the rocks and watched the sunlight reflect off of the surface. It was tranquil near the lake. The birds chirped and flew across the sky. The trees danced in the occasional breeze. I started to think about Simon. His bright blonde hair and hazel eyes. The way they shined when he had been drinking for a while...the way the shined when he hadn't. He was so brutally honest. Shit, he was cutthroat. But it was charming. One time, I had worn a long, lilac dress. Simple and comfortable. I showed up to the ball and he straight up said it didn't look good on me. In a playful tone, but I knew he really thought that. But, again, in a playful tone. So I told him his tattoo was not attractive, and he was very proud of his tattoo.

If only he was here. He would have loved the mountains. Maybe less of the cult, but he would have loved it. You would have loved it too.

\-----

I screamed Simon's name as he collapsed to the ground as blood pooled around him and drained into the ducts below. The shooter looked at me and smiled. A truly evil smile it was. He laughed and nodded the gun toward me.

"Too late princess. If only you had come a tad bit sooner, he might have lived. The stubborn bastard." He said, his voice quiet and deep. "Now, come over here or you'll end up just like your boyfriend here."

Tears were already pouring down my face and I couldn't take my eyes off of Simon. Oh fuck, this is all my fault. I took a step forward and then another one until I reached the shooter. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw metal gleaming on his belt. A knife. I put my hands up and he approached me. I would not let Simon's sacrifice be in vain.

In one quick motion, I grabbed his knife and had the tip on his neck before he could lift his weapon. With the other hand, I snatched the gun away from him and pulled him close.

"You're going to pay for that," I whispered in his ear. I put the gun to his temple and turned him around so the other terrorists could see.

"Let them go or this one will won't be calling my princess anymore." I breathed. I felt anger and sadness pull on me like I was a puppet on strings. Both emotions fueling me to kill every last one of them. The murderer I was holding hostage nodded and one of his men went to the closest hostage and picked them up. I breathed but I didn't let go.

Panic set in when the man pulled the hostage close and held his own gun to the crew member's head.

"Or...you let go of him and we won't kill this one. Each time you refuse, another one will die. Your choice." I was sweating bullets at this point, and with the tears gleaming on my face, the makeup that I had forgotten to take off the previous night must have looked like utter shit. I let go of the man and dropped my weapons. When the man didn't let go of the hostage I knew something was wrong.

"I guess we can afford-" Before he could finish, I pushed past the princess guy and leaped for him. I managed to push his arm just a bit for him to miss the crew member. The bullet strayed off its path and relief flooded me. But when the bullet struck something hard and made a loud repeating thud sounded out, I knew it had hit something much, much more detrimental.

And then the first blast went off.

I hit the hardwood ground knee first and groaned in pain. I rolled over and looked up at the ceiling of the cabin, feeling like I was absorbing the darkness around me. I had saved one life just to kill thousands of others. I didn't mean to, but in the end, it was my fault. No one can tell me otherwise. But after telling Jacob my story, I felt a bit better. He was right. If I kept thinking like that, the darkness would truly consume me.

I stood up and stumbled to the end table and opened the drawer. Inside were a few dusty books. I pushed them aside and grabbed a flashlight buried underneath. I flicked it on, and thankfully, it turned on. A bright beam of light flew out and washed the room. I hadn't really been paying attention to much of the room. I fell on the bed and fell asleep immediately after the trip to the lake.

Above the bed was a framed photo of the Seeds. Joseph, whom I have never met, sat in the middle, with Faith kneeling beside him and John and Jacob on either side. The glass was dusty, making it hard to see. I had never met Faith either. She was a weird one.

I left the bedroom and opened the front door. The cool night air washed over me, and I felt instantly refreshed. My breathing slowed and my heart rate stabilized. I went down a step and sat down, looking up at the shining stars and moon. I pulled out the photo I had grabbed from my house and stared at it for a while. It was of Miller and I. He was standing beside me with his arm around my shoulder. His freshly buzzed off hair was the only hint of his new recruitment. His eyes were a pale blue, but they were shaped like mine. He had the same brown hair and a small nose. He was smiling happily, and I was too. But you could tell that I was sad he was leaving. I stared at the photo for a while before putting it back in my pocket. I wish he was here now. You and Miller would have gotten on like a house on fire. He was just like you.


	7. Hunting and Yearning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob takes Ada hunting, and things get...romantic?

It was two days before I saw Jacob again. I didn't bother me much, he was obviously a pretty busy man. I was still thinking about why he had let me go. There were so many other people there and I was just lucky enough to have a mutual understanding with him. What if I had never been on the cruise? Would he have let me go? Would we still have the relationship we have now? When I say relationship, by the way, I don't know what it means.

I hadn't had a dream since that night on the porch. The dreams to me were weird. The first one I had was oddly realistic. The rest of them were as well, but some details were missing or there when they weren't in the first place. Like the boiler room. It was a lot larger and louder in real life. The clunks and thuds were so loud that I couldn't hear anything else. And no one entered after me. I've had dreams about the cruise before and they were crazy. Some had aliens and some had zombies. They were never like these.

I was eating breakfast when I heard a knock at my door. I wiped my face with a napkin and headed over to the door, hoping it was Jacob. I opened the door and was about to say hi when I noticed that there was nobody at the door. I felt nervous as I closed it and walked over to the sink to clean my dishes. And then there was another knock. My head snapped to the door and I placed one hand on my knife in my pocket. I approached slowly, and opened it again, ready to attack.

"Woah there!" Jacob chuckled when he saw my hand on a knife. And then he saw my ghost white face. "Hey, what happened?"

I took my hand off the knife and breathed. "There was just...someone knocked on my door a few minutes ago. I opened it and they were gone. I think you might have scared them off."

"Do you think it was those people?" He asked.

"Maybe, but I don't see how they could have found me." I looked up and met his beautiful blue- I mean- normal blue eyes. Fuck. "Anyway, you here to hunt?"

"Uh huh." He said, pushing past me and wandering into the guest bedroom.

"Okay...." I whispered to myself. "Hey, you want some breakfast?"

He peeked out the door, looking confused. "I make it that not many people ask you if you want breakfast?" I joked, but I knew it was true.

"Sure." Is all he said as I scraped the remaining scrambled eggs off of the pan and threw some toast on as well. He sat down as I placed the plate in front of him and took a seat. "So, I take it that you haven't lived here your whole life. Where did you live before?"

"I lived up in Boston, Massachusetts. It wasn't the lifestyle I liked, all that hustle and bustle."

"Why did you move here?"

"Hope County was the most remote place I could find." I lied, staring down at the table, trying to avoid eye contact. I actually came to Hope County for...a friend. I was just too scared to do what I went there for. The next part is true, though. "Miller and I used to dream of coming up here to Montana. Everyone in the family thought we were weird because of it. Who dreams of going to Montana when there are the beautiful sights of Europe or even the Grand Canyon in Arizona? But we loved the scenery in Montana. And it's just as exciting to be here now. I guess if there is some afterlife out there than Miller's looking at it with me now. Who knows."

Jacob didn't say anything as I pulled out the photo from my pocket. "This...um...came in the mail a few weeks after he died." I handed the glossy photograph to him, but it wasn't the actual photo I wanted him to see. He looked at it for a few seconds before turning it over. He read the note written in messy handwriting, and he seemed to actually be on the verge of tears. It surprised me, but not as much as you would think. He let the picture fall onto the table and he sat back in his chair. He was thinking, that much was obvious. But I think he was really, and I mean really, trying to hold it back. He was good, that's for sure.

"Shit." His head fell back and he just stared at the roof. He cleared his throat and stood up, and walked back to the guest room. I think I found his weakness. I guess his song really had meaning now. "Let's go."

"What?" I asked, feeling rather ill. I really didn't feel like hunting.

"You heard me. Let's go." He reiterated as he came back from the room with a rifle and a duffel bag. I didn't think it was smart to decline, so I followed him out of the house anyway.

"Okay." He led me into the woods, and we both remained quiet and we ventured further. At least it was peaceful in the forest. It offered a weird sense of security. No one would find me in here.

We were wondering for a few minutes before he stuck out his hand to stop me from moving further. There was a sound. A rustling in the bushes. Jacob brought up his rifle and aimed it into the general area of the sound. He didn't shoot though. He just had it aimed, just in case. The moment of anticipation was long and nerve-wracking. It was like watching Sim- No, I didn't want to think about that.

There was more rustling and then something came barging out of the brush. A loud bang echoed in the forest, causing me to go temporarily deaf in my ear as it began to ring. The animal whined but didn't stop charging. It was so fast. I pushed Jacob aside and we both went tumbling to the ground as the creature shot past us. The animal didn't come back, and we both just lay there breathing heavily. We began to laugh quietly as I got off of him.

"What was that?" I asked between deep breaths.

"An Elk." He explained as he searched the ground for blood.

"It looked strange to me," I said, feeling a bit woozy.

"You sure about that?" He asked, sounding a bit unlike himself. And then his head shot up, his eyes wide. "Bliss."

"What? Why in the world would bliss be in Whitetail?" I said lazily, feeling the effect of it.

"Maybe some screwed up prank Faith is trying to play," Jacob announced. He grabbed me by the arm, but not roughly. It was...gentle. It must be the bliss. He led me down the trail of blood until the elk was in sight. But there was...several of them. There was also a cougar and an um...a moose? I couldn't really tell. There were stars dancing around me.

"Oh fuuuccckkk...that's weird." He said quietly, sounding rather high.

"Shhhh!" I shushed him, but he was smiling. He catches a strand of my hair and slides it through his fingers. I blush deeply, but warmth spreads throughout me.

"Fuck off," I said, but I laughed when I said it. "Do you really think we should fight this thing?"

"We can take this thing." He said, lifting his rifle.

"Hey! There are so many of them, we can't just fight them off with one gun!" He chuckled and looked at me cockily.

"Of course we can. You got a knife." His eyes scanned my body until they landed on the knife. "That'll do."

My vision was starting to go green as the bliss began to overcome my mind. I laughed again and shrugged my shoulders. "I guess we can."

"Thanks for agreeing with me, my friend. Now, let us kick some ass." He said with a devious smile. I smiled back, feeling like this was the only thing that mattered. Him and I. "Go soldier!"

I saluted before running off into the clearing. Jacob began to shoot at the elks in front of me. With each elk shot, a puff of green gas comes with it. I take out my knife and run at the nearest one. It charged at me, but I didn't stop. I laughed as I slide underneath the elk and slit open its stomach from underneath. It disappeared in a cloud of green smoke.

"Fuck yeah!" I screamed as I charged a wolverine. I jumped at me and I thrust my knife at it, sticking it in the head. Another one down for the count.

"Nice one!" Jacob screamed over the roaring and gunshots. I turn to him and he shot another wolverine behind me.

"Holy shit, you're not so bad yourself!" I said as he came over to me. Together, we took out another dozen before the real elk came charging at us. We stayed together as it came closer and closer. At the last second, we split apart and it ran through us. I stuck out my knife and it cut the length of its body. Jacob was shooting it like a madman. The elk bulges and collapses onto the ground, whining in pain. As its moans grew quieter until they were basically nothing, Jacob put his hand to its chest.

"Dead." Jacob announced. He stood up and looked at me strangely. Was it...yearning. He walked quickly over to me and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, feeling his heart pound against me.

"That was awesome." I whispered into his ear, feeling happy and energized. He pulled apart for a split second, just to get a good look at my face. His eyes were bright and mine were as well. I felt something twist inside of me.

"You were awesome." He said, pulling me closer. I didn't stop him as he slammed his lips against mine, and everything melted away. He pulled me down to the ground as he mouth slid down my neck. I felt amazing. And I realized that I have been yearning for him as well. Yearning for this.


	8. Stress Cooking and a Trip Into Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and Ada wake up and realize that they did the thing they definetly did not want to do. Definetly.

I woke up feeling the happiest I had ever felt, and I didn't know why. Though that part was about to come. The heat of the sun flowed through the window, heating up the room like a sauna. I smiled and yawned, feeling the softness of the silks sheets wrapped around me, warm and cozy. I turned my head to look out the window only to be met by Jacob's rough face, and I felt my heart drop like an anchor.

"Holy Fuck." Jacob's eyes snapped open, and for a moment, he looked happy. He smiled lazily before closing them again, but they were wide open faster than I could have snapped my fingers. He looked utterly shocked as he jumped out of bed. I followed suit, but I quickly realized that I was very, very exposed. My face flushed as I grabbed a loose sheet and wrapped it around my body. We both stood there for a while as the reality of the previous night hit us like a wrecking ball.

"Did we..." I remembered everything, but I just wanted his confirmation.

His eyes traveled up my neck and I looked down, just to see purple marks. "Shit."

I quickly grabbed a shirt and shorts from my backpack. "I'm gonna go...you know."

"Yeah...yeah." He said, now pacing around the room. I left as quickly as I could, feeling both insecure and strangely...empty. It was the best night I had had in years, and he seemed like he thought the same. I pushed open the bathroom door and locked it behind me. I felt like my throat was closing up.

I put my hands on the sink and looked don't the mirror, observing every little mark he left on me. I shook my head as I threw on black shorts and a white t-shirt before grabbing a red leather jacket I had left in there.

I left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen. I opened the fridge and withdrew some milk and eggs and began to prepare pancakes. I stress cook if it isn't obvious already. By the time Jacob came out of the bedroom with his usual outfit on I had fixed up two pancakes.

I threw the plates on the table and sat down, feeling heat spread up my neck. The chair creaked as Jacob dragged it out from underneath the table. We sat in silence for a few moments before I broke it.

"At least we killed a bliss-infected Elk." I joked, feeling the need to fill the awkward silence. He looked up from his food and chuckled.

"You killed it with a goddamn knife." He answered, still laughing.

"It was your idea."

"And you listened to it." He shot back playfully.

"I guess I did," I said, a funny feeling fluttering through my chest.

"You were the voice of reason for a bit though."

"I guess I have a better bliss tolerance." It was affecting me, but it was affecting him much faster.

"It seems so." When we finished eating, Jacob stood up and grabbed our plates.

"Thank you for making breakfast." He said as he cleaned the dishes.

"No problem." I watched him as he rubbed the dishes, and only when he stopped did I take my eyes off of him.

"Well, I have some things to do today. Thank you for, um, having me." He thanked. He went to the door and was about to leave when he stopped. "Stay safe, Ada."

After he left, I decided to take a trip to the town. I hadn't seen it before and thought it would be nice to get to know some people. The path to get to my cabin was long and but after about half an hour of walking, I emerged onto a wide road heading downhill. A cool breeze washed over me like a wave in the ocean, filling me with happiness. Those past couple days, although hectic, had been the happiest I had ever felt since Miller died. It was weird that I was captured twice and felt that way.

I found myself in the town faster than I expected. It was a cozy small place, minus the cult trucks driving around every now and then. There weren't many people around but the ones I saw seemed on edge. It made sense. Jacob did capture the townspeople every now and then. Damn, how do I feel this way about him? I found a grocery store a few blocks in and decided it would be a good idea to get some more food. I crossed the street and hurried inside.

I wondered the store for a while, grabbing the things I thought I needed and greeting the occasional shopper. I was grabbing a box of spaghetti when I heard the gunshot. I ducked as a storm of glass rained down on me. I looked up to see a familiar face at the end of the aisle, surrounded by a few of his men. I backed away, feeling as if I had been shot.

"Hello, Princess."


	9. Finding Myself and a Sinking Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada has a not-so-happy reunion with a not-so-happy old enemy. Past Ada meets one of the crew members from the ship, and tries to help her.

I stood stock still, feeling a mix of emotions ravage through me like a storm. One one hand, I wanted to charge the motherfucker and kill his ass. On the other, I wanted to run and hide. Both were equally reasonable thoughts. I guess if this was a test, the correct answer would be the be the calm option.

"Hello, assface," I replied. He took the insult in stride and took a step toward me. I mirrored him and also took a step toward him.

"No need to be so aggressive, Ada. We are all friends, right?" I spit at his feet in reply. "Now that is not the correct way to greet an old friend."

"You know, you have been doing a great job of avoiding us. Hiding behind others isn't a great way of protecting them though." He said, waving his hand to someone off to the side. They dragged a familiar man into the aisle, and I had to bit my lip to keep myself together. Jacob. He had a black eye and a gag. He looked extremely pissed off. "Now, how about you come with us or this guy will end up like our good ol' friend Simon. Just like old times, eh?"

And just like that, I felt like I was there, in the engine room again. But this time I had a chance. This time I could save him. I looked at Jacob in a panic, but he was shaking his head. I looked closer, and could just barely see his gaze on my pocket. My knife. It still had the elk's blood on it. The blood was infected with bliss. He was shaking his head in the direction of the man right next to him. I smiled to myself for a split second.

I pretended to look panicked and conflicted as I said it. "Please...I'll go with you if you let him go. Just don't hurt him." I put my hands out as I approached them. Assface didn't approach me. Just before I reached them, I stopped. I put my hands down. "Are you going to let him go?"

"Once we have you, yes." He wasn't very convincing, but I put on a face that looked relieved. He fell for it. This time he did approach me. He was holding a pair of handcuffs, and just as his fingers were about to touch my hand and I pulled out my knife. I sliced him in the hand and threw it with all the force I could muster at the man next to Jacob. He was just about to put the gun at Jacob's head as the knife collided with his thigh. He screamed in pain, and Jacob twisted around and cut the binds off with the knife sticking out of the man's leg. I pulled out assface's gun and shot the rest of the men with three loud bangs.

The man that was holding Jacob hostage was already unconscious on the ground, as was assface. Jesus, I am so immature.

I was breathing heavily when I sat on the ground, beginning to feel the shock set in. I had just killed three people.

Jacob sat down beside me and breathed out thanks.

"I just killed three people..." I mumbled. It wasn't a nice feeling, knowing that you just ended the lives of people who might have had a family to return to. God knows that the people on the cruise had people to go back to.

"It's okay... it's okay. You saved my life, Ada. You did the right thing." He said, trying to comfort me. I guess it worked, to an extent.

"I know I did the right thing, but that doesn't make the feeling any less crappy," I answered. I leaned my head against his shoulder, for once knowing full well what I was doing. And he let me.

"You make me feel better about myself," I whispered, feeling tears begin to slide down my cheek.

"Did you find yourself?" He asked quietly. I thought about the question for a second and thought even longer about the answer.

"I don't need to. I will never be the person on the ship, and I think I'm okay with that."

* * *

The blast knocked me off my feet, sending me tumbling across the metal grates of the engine room. Smoke was flowing through the room, slowly filling it up. I coughed deeply, almost as if it was ripping my throat apart. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing as I pushed myself off the ground and grabbed the railing for support. I couldn't hear very well, but the red lights blaring through the thick smoke told me that the alarm was blaring. I looked around and saw several bodies littered across the engine room. I stumbled toward the crew members and found that only one of them was breathing.

"H-hey, are you okay?" I asked her between wheezes of breath. I shook her lightly and her eyes opened slowly. Her face cringed in pain and tears spilled from her eyes. I looked down to see a metal shard stuck in her leg.

"Is...is it bad?" She asked quietly. I met her eyes. I nodded, feeling that there was no point in lying.

"But I can get you out of this," I promised as I ripped off my jacket and tied it around her leg. I helped her up, putting my arm around her to keep her steady.

"We need to get to the rafts. That won't be the last blast." She said, looking extremely worried.

"What do you mean?"

"They shot the crankshaft. There will be a second explosion, and it will be much more damaging." She explained as we sped through the boiler room.

"We need to get you help first."

"No, no, we need to get off the ship. Don't you understand, the ship could sink!" She pushed.

"But you'll lose too much blood. I can't let that happen."

"You don't even know me." I looked at her and pictured Simon in her place. I didn't know him very well either, but I loved him. And I watched him die. I couldn't let that happen to someone else.

"That doesn't matter," I said quietly. She didn't push the subject as we went up the stairwell. People began to flood in as well, fearful of what the alarm meant. We pushed through the crowd until we were on the deck, looking out into the sea.

"Everyone on a raft!" She screamed out next to me as more bodies piled onto the deck. The people wasted no time clambering onto the rafts as the lady and I made our way to the small medical facility up a level.

"What's your name?" I asked her, watching passengers fill up the rafts quicker than I could have imagined.

"Sarah." She said lazily. I looked over to her and saw that she was deathly pale. "How about you?"

"Ada," I responded as we headed up a staircase to the next level. I looked over into thedark, oily ocean. "Don't worry, Sarah. We'll make it."

"Ada, you really need to get on one of those rafts." I shook my head.

"I am not leaving you." I grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open. I led her inside as the lights overhead flickered. The walls were a bright green. My feet slammed against the marble underneath me as we made our way across the sector. People were running through the hall with worried looks, holding those precious next to them. When we made it to the medical facility, the halls in the area had already been cleared out. The room was large, with a small waiting room to the left and a few rooms in the back with curtains for privacy. A secretary's desk was in the middle of the room. It was barren.

I led her to one of the rooms in the back and laid her onto the bed. It wasn't the most advanced, but it was enough.

"I'll be back. I just need to find some gauze and maybe some stitching equipment." I said, turning away from her.

"You know how to do this stuff?" She asked. I nodded.

"My mother was a doctor. She taught me some of the basics." I explained before hurrying out of the room. I ran over to the storage room across the room and pushed the door open just as the second explosion went off.

I fell forward, banging my head against the tiled ground. The floor vibrated as the shockwave of the vicious explosion traveled through the ship. The ship groaned loudly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I rubbed my head as I stood up, feeling extremely dizzy. I searched the room hastily and found a bottle of antiseptic, stitching equipment, and gauze. I hurried back over to Sarah to find her barely conscious. "I'm here, I'm here."

"It happened." She said. I didn't look at her as I ripped a hole in her pants and looked at the injury. Surrounding the wound was a deep red and purple consistency. We're going to need a lot more than stitches and bandages. I raised the wound above the heart to lessen the bleeding before beginning.

"Okay, take a deep breath," I said as I gripped the metal piece. She did as she was told and slipped her hand into mine, squeezing it tight.

"Thank you." She said as I pulled the shard out. She screamed in agony as the wound gushed out blood. She let go of my hand and put it over her mouth to stop from screaming.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I said as I took out the antiseptic and poured it into the wound. She screamed into her hand and banged her other hand onto the bed. I whispered to her that she was going to be okay as I wiped the wound over with a clean towel. I grabbed the needle and thread and sterilized them with the antiseptic. And then I began.

"So...why did you decided to work on a cruise?" I asked, trying to keep both of our minds off of the current situation. She was breathing heavily as I started the first stitch.

"I-I wanted to-" She winced in pain, but continued. "I wanted to travel."

"Working with a cruise line will definitely do that for you. I've always liked to travel too." I said, focusing intently on the project at hand.

"It's nice to always be on the move. I mean, maybe not for everyone, but I don't like to stay in one place for too long." She explained. The conversation seemed to be doing a good job of keeping her mind busy.

"Me and my brother have always wanted to visit Montana. A beautiful place. Have you ever been?"

"I was used to live there, actually. Hope County. You should visit sometime." She said. I looked at her as her golden brown eyebrows furrowed.

"I will. I promise." I said as I finished off the last stitching and tied it off with a surgeons knot. I took out the bandages and wrapped it carefully. "And we are...done!"

"Already. Wow, hardly felt a thing." She laughed lightly and I did too.

"I don't think you should put any pressure on it, so I'll have to carry you to the raf,s." I explained as I scooped her up. I struggled under her weight. I'm not saying she was overweight, but I was just very weak.

"Woah!" She said as I carried her out of the medical facility. I hurried down the hall, and barged through the exit door. A cold breeze washed over me as we stumbled out onto the balcony. Most of the rafts were already out on the water, drifting out to sea, but some were still left. There were only a few people left to evacuate. I watched the rafts at sea and sighed a breath of relief. And then it was gone. I watched as the boats in the distance erupted into clouds of fire. I screamed as the remaining ones still left on the cruise exploded, sending flame up into the air. The people on the rafts screamed as their bodies singed in the fire. I looked away, crying as our only way of escape disappeared in a cloud of ash and fire.

We were going to die.

We were alone.

Adrift.

On a sinking ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the whole of the first part. Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
